When my son Jarod was eight-years old we moved from Los Angeles to Nashville. The move presented several challenges, one of which was sending our children to new schools. Unfortunately Jarod was seated next to Matthew…the biggest bully in the class who chose to torment Jarod regularly.
My wife and I had to figure out what to do about the situation and even discussed the possibility of pulling him out of the class entirely to home school him. However, instead of pulling Jarod from the class we asked him to stick it out and said to him, “perhaps God chose you to demonstrate his love to Matthew and make a positive difference in his life.”
Since Matthew was easily twice Jarod’s size, he was a little afraid of him. But I told Jarod, “What you need is courage. You can either confront him now and overcome your fear, or for the rest of your life you’ll be afraid of people like him.” Fear cripples and is downright debilitating. Giving into it can drastically alter the course of your life. Simply stated, your unwillingness to face the giants in your own life will keep you from reaching your full potential and fulfilling God’s destiny for your life.
Naturally, my son’s biggest concern was how this bully would react. I encouraged Jarod to share his feelings in a very nice way that wasn’t mean or spiteful. Try saying something like: “Hey Matthew, I would like to be your friend, but there are certain things you do that are hurtful and if you could just stop doing them, I believe we could be friends.”
Well, Jarod rose to the occasion and had that talk with Matthew and because of his gentle and compassionate delivery Matthew was totally receptive. In a short time the big bully turned out to be a completely different kid, a much better kid in every aspect. All of this transpired simply because Jarod overcame the fear of confrontation and was willing to face his giant.
Although being courageous is difficult for all of us, you must bear in mind the high price of cowardice. People who lack the courage to speak directly with others about their negative behavior set themselves up to be angry, bitter complainers and there is no glory in being a coward or a whiner.
You may not always get the reaction you want when you overcome your fear and confront people. But there will be breakthrough in many areas of your life because you will learn how to get things off your chest in a non-destructive way.
Overcoming the fear of confrontation is not just important for you. It also helps release other people into their Godly destiny, people who need to hear what you have to say in order to get on the right track.
©Copyright 2016, Zoro The Drummer, All rights reserved
